


genus capra

by valety



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Fluff, Humour, Other, POV Second Person, Post-Pacifist Route
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-23
Updated: 2016-06-23
Packaged: 2018-07-16 21:21:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,590
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7285195
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/valety/pseuds/valety
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Asriel probably should have been able to guess why Chara was so excited about going to the petting zoo.</p>
            </blockquote>





	genus capra

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to write something pointless and cute so at 1am I did this on my phone based on a silly prompt eris gave me and now I’m posting it for the entire world to see. DRAG ME
> 
> [update: FANART!!!](https://twitter.com/rlaaks0511_UT/status/746924424528437248)

“It will be an educational experience,” your mother says, but you don’t really care about that. In fact, you’re not particularly interested at all until you see Chara’s eyes light up, at which point you decide that a family trip to the zoo might be kind of fun after all.

It’s a hot day in June, the kind of day that necessitates Chara slathering themselves in sunblock before they leave the house. They’re scowling the entire time, and you almost say something about how the sun isn’t all that bad – it brings out their freckles – but then they glare at you as though reading your mind and you think better of it.

They and Frisk spend the entire ride singing a song about bottles on a wall. At least, Chara sings; Frisk does a little dance in their seat while they sign along. It’s quite repetitive, but you pretend to not be able to pick up on the lyrics so that you have a reason to decline when they command you to join them. You don’t feel like singing. You’re too busy gazing at the scenery passing by and telling yourself stories. Today it winds up being one about a dragon, because the speeding car makes you think of being astride one’s back, and…maybe you’ll tell Chara about it later, if they're in a good mood. You think they probably like dragons. They’d probably enjoy it.

When you finally arrive, it's difficult to mask your disappointment. There may have been no zoos Underground, but you’d read about them in your human history books and had come to expect rows upon rows of cages full of dangerous beasts needing to be contained for the safety of the patrons. Instead there’s just a smattering of enclosures full of sleepy-looking animals lazing about in the shade. There aren’t even attendants wielding spears to fight them off should they escape; instead there are a dozen or so human children reaching through the slats of the fences to try and pet the dozing creatures while their parents tug them away.

You’ll never admit it, but the prospect of danger had been kinda sorta why you’d been at all excited to come. You’d wanted to see all the ferocious animals and maybe protect Chara if they got scared, which they wouldn’t have, because they’re not afraid of anything, but _still._

“You idiot,” Chara says with a grin when you whisper your disappointment to them outside the habitat of something called a _zebra._ “As if your mom would bring us anywhere that dangerous.”

“Still…”

“You’re in luck, though,” they add, and they point at the funny looking black and white thing in the corner of the enclosure. “Some of these animals _are_ pretty dangerous. Like that one. It could tear us apart in seconds if we fell in. They’re built for fighting, you know. It’d just take a single kick and we’d be dead.”

The zebra placidly chews grass.

“I don’t believe you,” you say.

“It’s true!” Chara insists. “Mom Lady, aren’t zebras _super_ dangerous?”

For a moment, your mother seems to be struggling over whether or not to smile, apparently torn between a mother’s instinct to reassure her charges of their safety and a teacher’s instinct to impart her wisdom on the younger generation. The teacher’s instinct apparently wins out, as she then proceeds to clasp her hands and say, “Well, it is true that zebras have historically been difficult for humans to domesticize…”

The lecture winds up being cut short by Frisk trying to climb into the habitat of something called a giraffe. You make a mental note to thank them later.

Your mother insists upon holding their hand after that, but Frisk remains prone to lingering at each enclosure and listening with rapt attention as your mother tells them about the animals. It doesn’t take long for Chara to begin to grow impatient, crossing their arms and tapping their foot, and so you finally you say, “Hey, mom, can Chara and I go ahead alone?”

“Hmm,” she says with a frown, glancing down at the two of you. You try and look as good as possible. “I do not know…”

“I won’t let Asriel get eaten by a panda, I promise,” Chara says, wearing what you’re pretty sure is their Wide-Eyed Innocent expression.

Eventually she agrees, so long as you swear to stick together, to stay inside the zoo, to not get too close to any of the animals, to remember to stay hydrated, to meet back up at the concession stand by noon, to keep your phones on you at all times, and for Chara specifically to not take their hat off even once.

All in all, you get off pretty easily. After swearing to obey the rules, you and Chara take off running down the path, swerving to avoid the humans who get in your way.

You don’t know where you’re going; you’re just following Chara, who already seems to have some idea. But when you’re about halfway there (according to them) and have finally slowed back down to a walking pace, they abruptly turn to you and say, “Thanks for asking your mom. I’m glad it’s just the two of us now.”

“Um,” you say. “You’re welcome.”

You try and say this coolly, like you’re not feeling all warm and fuzzy inside, but you don’t think that you succeed very well. Fortunately, Chara doesn’t laugh at you; they only smile.

“So where are we going?” you ask.

“There’s a petting area somewhere,” they reply. “For kids, you know? There’s something I want you to see. _Just_ you.”

“Aw, geez,” you say when your tongue is no longer feeling so tied that you cannot speak. “You’re embarrassing me.”

Chara giggles, then seizes your hand, swinging it in a happy arc between the two of you. Your cheeks are growing warmer and warmer by the second, but you giggle as well. You like seeing them happy, especially when they’re with you and it's because of something you've said or done. 

You walk like that together the rest of the way, and you think that you could probably die of happiness.

Unlike the rest of the zoo, the petting area is full of pens and tiny fluffy things that human children are freely walking amongst.

“Is this really okay?” you ask warily as Chara guides you through it. “Mom said not to get too close to any of the animals.”

“She didn’t mean _these_ animals,” Chara replies confidently. “They’re safe. Just look at all the babies wandering around. You really think their parents would set them loose on something dangerous?”

“How am I supposed to know?” you say. “Humans are weird. This entire _place_ is weird.”

Chara snorts. “As if monsters _aren’t_ weird,” they say. “Are you seriously going to tell me that snail racing is normal?”

They say this teasingly, so that you know not to get upset, and you squeeze their hand a little tighter and try not to let your heart thump too loudly when they smile at you. 

The romantic atmosphere manages to last another thirty seconds or so, at which point you reach the thing Chara apparently wanted you to see.

“I don’t understand,” you say.

“It’s a goat,” Chara says happily. “Like you.”

You stare at the animal before you.

“Whatever that thing is, it’s definitely not like me,” you finally declare.

You can see the similarities, you guess. This…this _goat…_ it has white fur, like you, and horns, like you will someday. But it’s on all fours, with each foot ending in a cloven hoof, and it smells absolutely _terrible._ Plus, it has the most terrifying eyes you’ve ever seen, with almost rectangular pupils, and _your_ eyes are perfectly normal – and quite pretty, in your opinion.

“It’s a goat,” Chara repeats. “ _Capra aegagrus hircus_. Do you have any idea how surprised I was to fall and wind up rescued by a goat boy?”

They say this almost conversationally, smiling softly at you, but you can’t appreciate this the way you would normally. You’re too fixated on the _goat_ and the fact that Chara apparently thought that you were anything like it at all.

“I’m a boss monster,” you say. “Not a goat. You know that, right?”

“Oh, sure,” Chara says easily. “And a very charming one, too. Not like this rude fellow here, who can’t even be bothered to say hello. Can you, boy?”

The goat makes a terrifying bleat and you yelp in surprise. Chara bursts out laughing.

“Was that a conversation?” they ask, looking delighted. “Were you communicating in your mother tongue?”

“It startled me!” you cry, screwing up your face in the best glare you can manage. “Why did it do that? Why did it make that sound?”

Chara ignores you in favour of kneeling before the goat and holding out their hand with a smile on their face. You watch suspiciously as this _goat_ stretches its neck towards their hand, sniffing it as though it has any right to do so.

Its tongue flicks out and laps at the back of their hand, and Chara _squeals._

“Don’t do that,” you say to the goat.

“You think it understands English?” Chara asks, standing back up and nudging you playfully. “Why not bleat at it some more if you want to talk to it?”

“I can’t talk to it at all because it’s an _animal,”_ you say primly. “It’s not as intelligent as monsters, clearly. It’s just some kind of…long, pointy dog.”

Chara snorts. “Sure, Azzy,” they say. “I’m gonna go get some feed, okay? Wait here. Not for _you,"_ they add. "For the goat."

"I don't _want_ any!" you shout after them, but they're already scampering off. 

You watch them for a moment  before returning to the goat.

There are a lot of them in this pen, actually. Black and brown and spotted. But this white one specifically is staring at you, as though it can see something in you that it recognizes, and you don’t think you like that.

“Don’t lick Chara,” you say as firmly as you can.

“Baa,” says the goat.

“I’m serious,” you say, bristling even further. “Chara’s _my_ …”

You stop. You’re not sure how to finish that sentence. Your friend? Your…partner? Your…

“Your what?” Chara asks, reappearing at your side, and you almost bleat in terror. Thankfully, you don’t.

“Nothing,” you say quickly. “You’re just Chara! That’s all. Haha.”

“Aw, _just_ Chara?” they say, mock-pouty, but before you can think of a response – how do you even respond to something like that?! – they grab your hand, unfurling your fingers and pouring a handful of brown pellets onto your palm.

You stare at it. 

“It’s food,” Chara explains with an encouraging smile. “Goat food. Try feeding him. I bet he’ll like you even more. Don’t you want to be friends with your kin?”

“We’re not _kin,”_ you say.

You don’t particularly want him to like you. But you _do_ want _Chara_ to like you, and they seem to want you to do this, so…

With a scowl, you hold out a handful of feed towards the goat.

Nothing happens.

“It doesn’t want it,” you say. _Ungrateful idiot,_ you think.

“You gotta make the pellets look more appetizing,” Chara says. “Shake ‘em around a little bit.”

“That makes no sense!”

“Trust me, I’ve done this before,” they insist. They sound confident, so with a sigh, you begin to bounce your hand, sending the pellets dancing.

For some inexplicable reason, that appears to work. The goat steps towards you and immediately begins to eat. Chara gasps softly – you think they probably do so on purpose, just to get on your nerves – and you scowl even harder.

It’s kind of peaceful, you guess. But it’s also pretty surreal, to be handfeeding this bizarre, shrunken-down alien version of a boss monster.

“This is so weird,” you murmur.

“We should get a goat someday,” Chara says dreamily, apparently ignoring you. “For a pet. We could name it…hmm. I’m not sure. Any suggestions?”

“Beardy,” you say, eyeing the scruff on its chin, and then you yelp in surprise as you feel something slick and wet flick against your paw pad.

The feed scatters on the grass and Chara bursts out laughing. You yank back your hand, giving the goat your very best glare, but the stupid thing ignores you, turning its attention to the pellets at its feet instead.

Chara crouches so that they can stroke the top of its head as it eats. Something very hot and sharp knots itself in your stomach. You want to say something, but you don’t know what.

Fortunately, they stand back up again a moment later, smiling at you warmly and hooking their arm in yours.

“You’re so funny, Asriel,” they say, and, well, that’s that. You’re mush again.

Still…

“Let’s go see something else,” you say. “I don’t like that guy.”

“Are you seriously jealous of a farmyard animal?” they ask, sounding amused as they begin to lead you towards a flock of…ducks, you think the word is?

“I’m not _jealous,”_ you say stiffly. “He just seemed rude, is all.”

Another giggle. “You’re so funny,” they repeat, and you look down, staring at the path before you, trying to pretend that your heart’s not fluttering just a tiny bit to hear them say that.

Coincidentally, Frisk and your mother have made it to the petting area as well, and so you wind up regrouping with them much sooner than anticipated. Chara doesn’t seem to mind, and so you decide not to worry about it, instead choosing to focus on the rabbits.

They’re not like people rabbits; they’re funny little baby ones that don’t appear to really think about anything. But they’re soft, and they let you pet them without making any terrifying noises or bothering Chara, and so you decide that they’re your favourite animals in the entire zoo.

“I thought _you_ were a rabbit at first,” Chara muses, watching as you cradle one on your lap. “Your ears are so floppy. I’d hit my head pretty hard, though.”

“I’m not a rabbit,” you say. “I told you. I’m a boss monster.”

“I know,” they say, waving their hand dismissively. “But what exactly _are_ boss monsters?”

“Boss monsters are boss monsters.”

Chara shrugs, reaching out to pet your rabbit as well. “My best guess is dragon goats.”

You ignore the goat part, too distracted by the rabbit’s twitchy little nose. Instead you ask, “Do you like dragons?”

“Hell yeah.”

“Chara, language,” your mother says from several feet away, where she’s watching Frisk attempt to hug several dozen rabbits at once.

“Heck yeah,” Chara amends.

Well, that’s good. They’ll like your story, then. And you guess that you don’t really mind the idea of them seeing you as a goat if they see you as a dragon too. Dragons are pretty cool.

By the time your mother has declared it time to go home for lunch, you’ve decided that the zoo is a pretty okay place after all, despite the goat and Chara’s teasing. Because really, what’s a day without Chara making fun of you?

They take your hand again as the four of you are leaving, smiling that secret smile of theirs as they squeeze your palm. You smile and squeeze back, and in the end, you’re left feeling so happy that it doesn’t even bother you that much when you hear a child saying, “Mommy, one of the goats got out."                                                                                 


End file.
